| essay |
[Feb. 10th, 2007|09:49 pm] |
Things to look for: Mechanical errors, cliches, originality, proper usage of words. Thanks for looking it over. PS Click comment to view it in a non-choppy way. Fuck double spacing.
The Genre of Ska: More Than Just Skater Music (Word Count: 877)
Many people’s first thought when listening to is that it is a modern genre only
listened to only by skateboarders. These uninformed people also have misconceptions
about the ska style, and the fashion of ska. They believe the style is based on wearing
checkerboard patterns and dress clothes because it is ‘cool’, not realizing that the style
represents so much more. Upon hearing the music, they think of it as easy to play, using
simple and sloppy chord progressions, and uninspired lyrics. These are all popular
fallacies about ska music.
Ska music began not recently, but rather in the late 1950’s in Jamaica where
radios were just starting to become popular. These radios would pick up radio waves
from New Orleans, where jazz and blues were a prevalent. Eventually, these American
styles of music were combined with the Jamaican styles of mento and calypso to create a
music that could be danced to, and thus Ska was born. Ska became an instant hit in many
dance clubs throughout Jamaica. The main group of listeners to this new genre were
young men from the ghettos and were in search of jobs that didn’t exist. They dressed in
the latest fashions to mock the wealthy, and became known as “rude boys”. These rude
boys were increasingly violent, and hired by disc jockeys to wreck rival disc
jockeys parties. This eventually lead way to gangs. Ska musicians did not condone the
actions of Rude Boys, but this new subculture inspired many songs. With this new style
of dancing music came a new dance, known as skanking. It represented the rude boys
fight against the higher classes.
The next wave of ska was created in the 1970’s in England where racial tension
was at an all time high. This new style was known as two tone ska. This new music style
blended elements of British punk rocks aggressive chord progressions and Jamaican skas
rhythms for a new and unique sound. The message behind two tone ska was that of unity
between blacks and whites. They wore black and white clothing and checkerboard
patterns not just as a style, but as a way to symbolize their message of unity. The rude boy
style became popular again, but the new rude boys were docile. Another subculture
that began showing up at the ska scene were known as skinheads. Contrary to popular
belief, the original skinheads were actually both black and white. They were commonly
factory workers who shaved their heads, and promoted unity between races. The popular
dance of first wave ska became a hit dance, but was altered slightly. Several variations of
the dance were created during this era, such as the skinhead stomp.
In the late 1980’s, ska hit the shores of North America. This time around, it
combined the pop-punk style of America with the off beats and horn parts that were
featured in two tone ska. Modern ska, or third wave ska, is considered by most to lack
talent, and be easy to write with uninspired vocals. These people feel as if the songs are
just thrown together. To an extent, this is true, but the same could be said about any other
genre; it just depends on the band. Most third wave ska focuses on fun lyrics and music
that can be danced to. However, the lyrics of some bands, such as Streetlight Manifesto,
focus on more serious topics like suicide and paying tributes to their dead heroes.
Writing music for a modern third wave ska band is not easy in the least. Not only
does the music have to be written out for the original four piece band, but there are also
horn parts to be written out. Timing is also an issue, with the off-beats as well as where
certain horns should come in. Playing it is not necessarily an easy task, either.
“Ska is the kind of music that is easy to play if you want to be basic. What's hard
is playing ska in a creative way and making it something more than a genre of music,”
says David Cole, front man of the Rude Robots (a local ska band). “Reel Big Fish, for
instance, throws in a second guitarist so melody can come out of the guitar's pick slides
and insane solos. Streetlight Manifesto's drummer doesn't only throw together his snare
and bass drum and keep the beat, he creatively has transitions and informal rolls."
It is surprising for most when they learn that their original assumptions about this
genre are completely inaccurate. The history of this music style is often astonishing to
someone who thought of ska music as a modern, American-created genre of music. The
fact that checkerboard patterns and black and white suits represent more than just a style,
but rather that of a unity between races, is also surprising. What usually shocks those with
no knowledge on the subject is the fact that the original skinheads were both black and
white and promoted peace, not racism. When trying to write out ska music, it is realized
that it is not quite as easy as one may have expected. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 15th, 2007|03:41 pm] |
So, you probably all know me well from my weird ass dreams. Well, I had an incredibly weird assed dream this afternoon.
I can't really remember how it started off exactly, but I do remember that it took place is some weird wooded town. I remember Sam was in the hospital for some reason, and everyone was going to visit her. Well, Freddy was back. Yes, Freddy Kruegar. Her and I had escaped from him once and no one believed us. He was back, and I had to tell her about it. There was a small back path through the woods you could take to get to the hospital parking lot, but it was still pretty long. I got there, went to her room, and everyone was suprised and pissed off that I was there. Even her. I was panicking, which upset her. I then got thrown out by the hospital staff. I just knew I had to do something. I parked somewhere, and went to work cutting trees or something. After a few days, working and trying to figure out what to do, I found help! Jason Vorhees joined up with me, and helped me cut down wood.
Well, my carpool was two lumberjack fellas who were afraid of him, but didn't say anything to him. I treated Jason like a child, because, well..he is legally retarded. So he tries to cut a quater in half with an axe, can't, tries to rip it in half, can't, and gets pissed. He waves me away. I try to get him in the truck, but he won't come. He held up his axe menacingly and waved the truck away. I knew what came next.
The slaugter. He was going to kill everyone and anyone. Even me, if I got in his way. So I rushed back to the hospital. I had to warn them. Well, I joined up with this random guy somehow.. Well, we ran around the hospital (Which was apparently a mental asylum) trying to find him or outrun him. We go into one room, and nobody is there. The window is open. I go to the window. I say "Be ready to grab the body that is stuffed in the closet so that it doesn't hit the ground and make a loud noise." Open the closet. It's Sam! "Oh no!" Her eyes fluttered open. We explained the situation. "No..he hasn't been through here. I just went to sleep in the closet." (Now it makes sense why she's in a mental asylum). We run around some more, trying to figure out how to kill him. We can either let him slaughter the town and try and set him on fire, or lure him out of the city with his moms remains (In the movies, he slaughtered teens for his mom). Well, I'm scared as hell that he's going to pop out at any time and kill me. Eventually, he pops out. He kills my friend. He tries to kill me. I set his moms remains on fire, trying to scare him away where he'll jump into the fire and burn to death. He doesn't. He keeps trying to stab me. I knock off his mask..and it's none other than DAN from the TV show Roseanne! (Or the big guy in the Blues Bros 2000 movie). I stab him in the face. He doesn't die. I throw him in the fire. He doesn't die. I give up.
"I QUIT!" I yell loudly as I storm away. The boy star (main character)of this movie comes running outside asking why why why. "We don't have a director, and Jason is overpowered." Then I gave some helpful advice to the kid and drove off.
What's weird is this is the second time I've had a dream about Jason (with someone other than Jason being behind the mask) or about the guy from Roseanne.
Weird... |
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| All the cool kids were doing it.. |
[Jan. 10th, 2007|02:45 am] |
So I was going to post the whole first few sentences from the first post of every month, but then I saw that I only had...five? months of entries, and those entries were pretty lame and emo.
So I decided to post a rant that I put up on myspace a few days back. I thought I had some valid points, or something. For some reason, I'm wanting to save it.
"Today/tonight was shit. Sick of shit days. Therefore, everytime I have a shit day, I'm going to post a "Fuck..." bulletin so everyone knows. Then I think I'll go on a rant about things.
What the fuck is up with all the little coked up kids that aren't even old enough to fucking drive? Seriously, what is the world coming to. Wow, you sure are so cool for being underage and smoking a ciggarette. EVERYONES impressed. I mean, look at me. I'm impressed. In all seriousness, why can't these ignorant high-school pricks be themselves, and break from the ordinary trend that their (not-so) cool friends are doing. Who seriously gives a flying fuck. You don't drink, smoke, or snort coke- you're friends AREN'T going to care. And if they do, I guess they aren't really your friends, now are they? It's pretty sad when people are actually IMPRESSED by the ones that actually don't do all this stupid shit. IMPRESSED because you actually made a smart decision.
And what the hell happened to waiting until you LOVE someone to have sex? Why is everyone having promiscuous sex? Masturbate if you really want to get off every other night, and wait until you find someone you actually love to start into sexual relationships. Ever wonder why STDs are spreading like the smallpox epidemic? Well, take a look at yourself. You ignorant cunts are spreading it about. I really don't want your chlamydia that came from your ex-boyfriends ex-girlfriends best-friends brother who caught it from your cousin. Seriously, if you ever want to settle down and FIND someone that actually gives a shit about you and start a family, stop having casual sex with people you barely know. Because chances are, that guy or girl is not going to want to settle down with you and your colony of AIDS.
What's with the new trend of self-mutilation? Yeah, you really are so hardcore for cutting or burning yourself repeatidly. When I see those scars, it makes me think, "Wow, I wish I was hardcore enough to do that. How cool!" In actuality, I think, "Wow, what a douche." and then proceed to make fun of them repeatidly behind their backs for being dumb emo and/or hardcore cunts. And if your not doing it to look "badass", then your probably doing it because you want to die. Fucking christ, if you want to kill yourself so bad, DO IT. Jump out of a car on the interstate or something. PLEASE, rid the world of your ignorance and stupidity. Hell, if you want to look hardcore, jump out infront of a truck going down the highway. THEN i'll be impressed.
God damn, I'm so glad I didn't go to a truly bullshit school. Trust me, all you Satsuma kids, your school is MUCH better than a lot of other schools in Mobile county. Probably one of the bests, aside from Murphy.
And thank god I'm finally in college." |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 10th, 2007|01:51 am] |
It's such a good feeling to pick up a good book and being unable to put it down for a whole hour or more. Currently, after my reading hiatus post-Dark Tower, I picked up 'Salems Lot. It's pretty good so far, but not much has happened. I'm guessing it's one of those books with a slow build-up, huge climax/plot turn and then a fast pace. 200/600 pages so far.
College life isn't exactly what I expected. Classes aren't too bad, and I definatly enjoy the freedom that comes with college. Where as High School was like some sort of military camp (with their insane uniform policy and strict rules), college is more or less laid back. I guess I don't really need to go into detail as most of everyone that will be reading this is in college.
I guess there are some flaws that go with college. It's so huge, yet I find myself alone in most of my classes. No-one I know, and no-one that looks mildly interesting to talk to. I guess I should be more outgoing, but that's just not me ('less I'm hyped up on an energy drink and feeling good). Campus food is overpriced, and not that great. The mexican place at South is pretty disgusting, actually. A lot of Indian women working in the cafeteria, making it hard to understand how much I'm supposed to pay.
I still have not payed my tuition, or acquired my textbooks. I suppose I should get on with that- Oh, I can't until the good state of Alabama gives me my fucking money. What the hell is this about me not being legal until 19? Bullshit, I say.
The campus itself is quite huge, and I can see where walking could be a hassle. The traffic is pretty horrible anyway you go from Satsuma to University. I'll be so glad when I get an apartment. Fuck those dorms. I decided that I really didn't want to live in a small area that reminded me of a prison; brick walls and tiled flooring with fluorescent lights. Ugh. I could probably deal with all of that alright, but the roomate...ich. Ryans roomate had his girlfriend over to fuck every weekend. Really don't want to deal with that.
Speaking of fucking, I am pretty damned lonely. I haven't been "going steady" with anyone since Sam, and that ended...almost a year ago? I've gone on a few dates, the most recent being a girl by the name of Heather. I thought she was pretty cool, despite her shady past filled with alchohol and drug usage (starting at the age of 12, no less). The fact that she smoked bothered me, so she said that she quit smoking. Flat out, that was a lie. We go on our date, everything seems pretty good. She's tall and skinny, pretty hot. Well, things start to go downhill when she goes looking at the dildos in Spencers with her friend (who is fourteen, and had $1500 from selling drugs). She busted out with "Damn, I need a ciggarette. I haven't smoked in days!" I was just like "...". Then we go to Wynnsong, which apparently is full of pre-teen/teen scene kids hanging out, skateboarding, moping, smoking, whining, ect, preparing to go to "the mug" (I place I've yet to set foot in, and probably never will). She goes up to her friends and starts showing off all of her scars from where she's cut herself (mainly an upside down cross on her stomach) and I just sort of laughed at that. Then some guy walks up to her and kisses her right in front of me, and they are all cuddly, so I just said, "Uh..I'm leaving. Bye." and left pissed.
Seems like I'm never going to find that one that I'm compatible with. Ugh, so annoying. I kind of feel silly for having this notion of not having sex until I find someone that I care deeply for, because it really doesn't seem like I'm finding anyone. I think after the next failed date (which I only get maybe twice a year) I'm just going to say "Fuck it", and just take become a cynical self-righteous jerk that moves from girl to girl, breaking hearts and getting laid. Seems like that's what girls like, anyway. I dunno, it beats the hell out of me.
Rachael and I have been talking again. We hung out today, and I had to change my tire at her house. She's a pretty cool kid, and I'm glad we're becoming friends again. She's quite jabbery when she isn't being shy and quiet, but it's fine with me. Personally, I'd rather have someone yacking on and on about nothing than sitting there doing nothing. Kind of regret that things ended like they did, but oh well. Learn from the past, right?
Just got a voice mail from Lauren, or Lo-Lo. It made me realize that I've sort of been neglecting my "secondary friends", or the friends that don't make up my core group of best friends. Namely her, but she's usually off with her boyfriend anyway. I think I'll go visit her tommorow.
So I guess that's it for my monthly journal entry.. Be back next month, I suppose.
P.S.- Emmett, you look kind of like the drummer from Ted Leo and the Pharmacists with your beard. All you need is some glasses. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 29th, 2006|01:50 am] |
So, I've pretty much given up on relationships for now. Mainly because I'm sick of ignorant little bitches that don't know what they want and change their minds every five seconds, or ones that treat me like shit. Or a combination of both. I'm just sick of females, period.
The newest girl, Rachael, seemed like a pretty nice find. Well, it looked that way anyway, concidering it's hard enough for me to find someone as it is, considering I don't get out of the house hardly any, don't know where to meet said girls, and am picky as hell. This girl was pretty cool, really cute, and really sweet..or so I thought.
Last Saturday, Dave, Billy, Ryan and I go over to her house, so they can meet her, and so we'd have something to do. Well, we get there and she won't say anything, because she's that shy. Dave is half asleep, so he's hyper as hell and hitting on her mom, and her mom is playing along, and everyone (minus her) is having a great time. She litterally only says about ten words in that four hours we were over there. Well, I get home, and she says something about 'having doubts', probably because I was moving slow (intentionally) and wouldn't cuddle or kiss her or anything. I probably would've cuddled with her, had she looked me in the eye more than once, and looked at any part of me more than twice. So I'm like "Eh, it's fine. We probably wouldn't have worked anyway."
Couple days go by, and I'm feeling lonely, and regretted saying that. So I tell her. She flips out, going on a rant about how she hates fucking guys who can't make up there mind. Then she proceeds to throw a bitch-fit, saying shit like "Go fuck yourself" and such. Well, I go take a shower, and come back, and she's apologized, and written some poem about dead babies for me. I'm like "...wtf?! Let me go eat and we'll talk about this." Apparently, she took that as "Fuck you, I scoff at your apology." and throws bitch fit number two. At this point, I go off on her. I chew her out about how she's a fucking child for throwing tantrums and yelling and cursing, instead of talking like a civilized human being. About how I don't see how her friends deal with her, and her bitch fits. How she doesn't know how to be herself or express her real emotions so she flips out and has a childish tantrum. I come back from being away, and she's apologized AGAIN. Says something about how she's crying, and doesn't deserve the friends she has, yadda yadda. I'm like "No, you're a sweet girl, you just need to learn to be yourself and not flip out on stupid shit."
Later, I ask her how she feels, and she brings the WHOLE fight up again. I just wanted to know if she wanted to still try and be friends or what. She says "I could've done without it." and asks me how I feel. Well, after that, I was really turned off, and didn't really have any sort of liking towards her anymore (We'd only been talking about a week). She flips out, saying if I really had athing for her, I wouldn't let a little fight like this get in the way, and she's bringing the fight up again, and trying to pin it on ME, and blame her going off on her brother being an ass to her. I was like "What the hell?" and got into it again. I ended things by saying, "Look, I'm not really mad or anything. I'm trying to be nice, and trying to be your friend. You are really nice girl, and I don't want to fight with you." Well, she stops talking.
Later, I find out that she's continuing this, only getting other people involved. That's when I just said fuck it.
I'm just sick of girls, period. Mainly, younger girls. This girl is a freshman...so she's quite younger than me. But she was really cute and really cool. Ugh. I don't even know. I can't even type because I keep zoning out. I think that cookie ice cream was like laced with coke or something. My parents must be doing coke..
Rawr. That's how I feel. Good night. |
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| Looking up. |
[Nov. 19th, 2006|11:40 pm] |
Wow. Today was great. This weekend has been pretty badass overall. Just, wow.
Yesterday, I stayed home because I didn't want to be around Sam. So, I talked to Rachael online and watched the Iron Bowl. Halfway through the fourth quater Kevin, Dave, Bill and Ryan show up outside. It was really nice getting suprised by Kevin like that, because I hadn't seen him in a month. Anyways, we start talking and suddenly we here the whole block rumble. Screams and shouts surrounding us like a Doby Digital surround system. It sounds like what I imagined armaggedon to sound like. Well, it wasn't armeggedan. In actuality, Auburn had just won the Iron Bowl, and that's why the whole neighborhood was hoopin' and hollerin'. War fucking Eagle.
We then proceed to leave my house where we go to Kevins to hang out a bit. We watch a sketch titled "Niggerfaggot", about a spelling bee where the final word is niggerfaggot, and all the kids are afraid to spell it. Pretty humorous. We then leave to see Saw III.
Well, Carmike was pretty packed. Suprisingly packed, actually. It's been weeks since Saw III has been out, and I was suprised that almost every seat in that theatre was taken. Well, the movie starts.
Saw III is the next in the series about the psychotic killer 'Jigsaw', who tortures and tests those who don't appreciate the life they have. This time, Jigsaw is dying, and his apprentice captures a nurse who must keep Jigsaw alive to see if one last victim can solve his puzzle. Now, I loved the first two Saw movies, but this movie was a bit extreme. I couldn't sit still, it was just excrutiating seeing the pain on the victims faces as their body parts are ripped out. It was definatly way more graphic than the first two, but that's what made it so intense. The twist (which is what this series all about) was unexpected, but I really didn't like it. It wasn't so "in your face" like the first two twists were. But, even though the twists were pretty bad, the overall intensity and creepiness of the story makes up for it. I give this movie a B-.
Today, I was supposed to get together with everyone to go to the mall. It was pretty tough trying to figure out what was going on, and I was definatly nervous about meeting Rachael. Well, it ends up all of the people that are driving can't go (save for Dave and Kevin, who are going straight from there to Goshay, Mississipi). Well, I REALLY want to see Rachael, so I just drive my uninsured car to the mall, despite the fact that it was Thanksgiving weekend, meaning the traffic was horrible and the cops were virtually everywhere. I get there and wait in Books-a-million for about half an hour, nervous as hell. Just as I'm about to give up thinking she couldn't make it, I get a tap on the shoulder and there she is. The only thing I could think was "Oh..shit." She was incredibly gorgeous. I'd seen her myspace pictures, but I expected her to be a little round or something, but no. She was just..wow. I was astounded (and still am, apparently). It was slightly awkward, since she's about a foot shorter than I am, but fun none-the-less. I felt like I looked horrible, and felt like she was dissapointed. We walked around the mall for about an hour, talking and getting to know eachother. I felt like an idiot. Well, about an thirty minutes go by and the mall closes. I meet her mom, and we can't figure out what we're going to go do. Her mom is incredibly cool, I really liked her. We decide to just call it a night, all things considered.
I then go to Burger King and wait about twenty minutes in line for a couple burgers. I get home, thinking that I made an ass of myself, and she was completely dis-interested in me, but apparently I couldn't be farther from the truth. Apparently, she thought the same of me that I thought of her. Even though things were awkward, she had a great time. She really likes me, apparently. And that makes me feel great. It finally looks like I found someone else.
It's getting cold outside. I like it cold, although I would've preffered the fall weather stay here longer (the low seventy degree area), but atleast it isn't so hot. And I'm actually slightly cheery about christmas this year. For instance, I'm watching a movie I vowed never to watch, ELF, and it's slightly funny. I think I'm starting to become happy.
In other news, The Fall of Ska tour is almost here. I can't wait to see Real Big Fish and Streetlight Manifesto in West Palm Beach, Florida on December 2nd. It's going to be great, regardless of the fact that we have to drive 10 hours up there and 10 hours back. I do dread the drive/ride, though. but it will be worth it.
Things are finally starting to look up.
Today was the 19th. 11/19/2006. 11+2+0+0+6 = 19. 19/19. Thankfully, today didn't go 19.
Ska + girl + friends+ winter = happiness. |
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| Back again. |
[Nov. 17th, 2006|02:53 pm] |
So, I decided to start updated this old thing again. Why? Well, just to get things off my chest, go on random rants, and have it so I can just point people to read this instead of having to take twenty minutes of my time to explain something to them (Because it litterally takes me 2 hours to explain a 30 minute episode of "My Name is Earl".
I got a haircut last night. It was sort of like a reverse-haircut though. Instead of me paying the barber for a haircut, the barber paid me. The barber, of course, was none other than my dearest mother, who has hated my hair since I've let it grow and bribed me to let her cut it. The bribe? $50. So you bet you're sweet ass I cut my hair. It's not really short, but it's definatly shorter than before. Three inches? That seems about right.
So, I haven't been in contact with anyone who posts here in fuckin' forever. So if you have a myspace, mine is robotkittylovefest. Add me.
I orginally came back to livejournal to look at the artpads that I drew centuries ago, and found myself reading each one of my entries since I started this journal. Holy shit, was I ever a whiny naive little bastard! It's funny how you can look back on things that happened only months ago, and be in awe at your own naitivity. I guess it's part of that whole growing up thing, that whole shifting from high school into college thing. Seeing how the real worl operates from a different point of view. Well, I'm never posting emotional bullshit like that again. God damn.
But...I've been watching episodes of "The 'L' Word", and this show is REALLY good! I mean, sure it's about lesbians and bi-sexuals, and I probably can't appreciate the true meaning of the show since I'm not actually gay, but it's just a really well-written show. Lots of drama and whatnot, but I found myself actually caring about the characters. (Plus, the random lesbian sex scenes are done in a tasteful way.) You can watch "The L Word", and around 100 other TV series of your pick, new and old, on ALLFG.ORG. Go there. It will change your life.
Dave is coming back into town today..or rather is back in town today. It's nice hanging out with him, since he is going to school in Mississipi. Lame.
But, in honesty, Dave is probably the closest thing to a best friend I have-he's like a brother to me.
Tommorow is Halo party. Woot, haven't had one of those in too long.
Sunday is mall day. If anyone (actually reads this anymore) and goes to the mall, why not come chill up with friends and I, and the asians! Because everyone knows Sunday is the day asians go to the mall; it's Rising SUNday!
Anyways, so far the people coming are: Bill, Wadsworth*, Ryan*, Aria*, D*, Ryan, Josh*, and Rachael*. (The * means possibly coming)
I'm really psyched about meeting Rachael. She seems uber-fucking cool. That's right, UBER.
Well kiddies, time to go. But I'll leave you with a random phrase of the day:
Random phrase of the day:
"There's something you just don't understand, kids I make love to my hand.
So I don't need you honey, I beat my dick like it owes me money!" |
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| Re-hash |
[Nov. 16th, 2006|10:56 pm] |
(1) Your gender: Male
(2) Straight/gay/bi?: Well..if I'm not straight, I'm in trouble.
(3) Single?: Unfortunately
(4) Want to be?: Obviously not.
(5) Your birth day: March 18, the 1988th year.
(6) Age you act: Usually like...24.
(7) Age you wish you were: 23..I just want to get through all this age.
(8) Your height: Hrm, not too sure..maybe like..5'11?
(9) The color of your eyes: Blue
(10) Happy with it?: Sure
(11) The color of your hair: Black
(12) Happy with it?: I s'pose
(13) Left/right/ambidextrous?: Right!
(14) Your family: Mom, Stepdad, Brother, Sister.
(15) What's your job: None..
(16) Piercings?: Maybe a lip or an eyebrow one day..maybe even a tongue.
(17) Tattoos?: Once again, maybe when I get some money..
(18) Obsessions?: None at the moment. I'm sort of hobby-less.
DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it
(19) Do you live in the moment?: I like to plan things out.
(20) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: No, not really. I hate immature people.
(21) Do you have any secrets?: Who doesn't?
(22) Do you hate yourself?: Sometimes I get mad at myself.
(23) Do you like your handwriting?: No way, it's crazy.
(24) Do you have any bad habits?: Hmm..I chew my lip.
(25) What is the compliment you get most from people?: Nice eyes.
(26) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: 19
(27) What's your biggest fear?: Being alone.
(28) Can you sing: I wish.
(29) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: Yeah, when I was a kid. Does that count?
(30) Are you a loner?: Nah.
(31) If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: Depends on what type of person I'd be.
(30) Are you a daredevil?: Sometimes.
(32) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: I screw up a lot, so I'm afraid I'm going to screw up all the time. And I'm really paranoid. And self-concious.
(33) Are you passive or aggressive?: Pysically- passive. Mentally- Aggresive.
(34) Have you got a ?: I have 19 ?s.
(35) What is your greatest strength and weakness? Strength- Willpower. Weakness- Strength
(36) If you could change one thing about yourself?: I'd make my self nicer and easier to get along with. And change the things I mentioned that I hate about myself question.
(37) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose?: Love, it is the key to living.
(38) How do you vent?: Telling people long drawn out stories about how I feel.
(39) Do you think you are emotionally strong?: Hell no.
(40) Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: Yeah..
(41) Do you think life has been good so far?: It has it's ups and downs.
(42) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: Death is natural.
(44) What do you like the most about your body?: Hrm..my eyes and hair.
(45) And least?: My skinniness, paleness, and the occasional acne.
(46) Do you think you are good looking?: Not really. I think I'm just 'cute'.
(47) Are you confident?: Nope. I'm the most unsure person I know of.
(49) Do people know how you feel?: Probably not.
(50) Are you perceived wrongly?: I'm sure I am. I know I have been before.
DO YOU...
(51) Smoke?: Nah.
(52) Do drugs?: Occasionally.
(53) Read the newspaper?: Occasionally.
(54) Pray?: Rarely.
(55) Go to church? No.
(56) Talk to strangers who IM you?: What's the fun in ignoring them if you don't know who they are?
(57) Sleep with stuffed animals?: When I was a kid.
(58) Take walks in the rain?: No, but I do love the rain.
(59) Talk to people even though you hate them?: Sometimes.
(60) Drive?: Yeah.
(61) Like to drive fast?: All the time. Not intentionally, either.
HAVE YOU EVER...
(62) Liked your voice?: Not really.
(63) Hurt yourself?: Of course.
(64) Been out of the country?: Nope.
(65) Eaten something that made other people sick?: Hah, of course. Pizza with mashed potatoes on top, from Elementary school to High school.
(66) Burped?: Uh, what the hell kind of question is that?
(67) Been unfaithful?: Never.
(68) Been in love?: Yes.
(69) Done drugs?: Yes.
(70) Gone skinny dipping?: Yes.
(72) Had a surgery?: Yes.
(73) Ran away from home?: Always threatened to as a kid.
(74) Played strip poker: No, it could be fun though.
(75) Gotten beaten up?: Yeah, Middle school.
(77) Been picked on?: Of course.
(78) Been on stage?: Sure I have.
(79) Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when?: What the hell kind of question is this?
(80) Slept outdoors?: Yep.
(81) Thought about suicide?: Ancient history.
(82) Pulled an all-nighter?: Yep.
(83) If yes, what is your record?: Hmm..40+ hours.
(85) Talked on the phone all night?: Oh yeah.
(86) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: Yep, on a couch, not a bed.
(87) Slept all day?: Oh yeah.
(88) Killed someone?: What the fuck?
(89) Made out with a stranger?: Nah man.
(90) Had sex with a stranger?: What do you think?
(91) Thought you're going crazy?: Yep.
(92) Kissed the same sex?: Probably.
(93) Done anything sexual with the same sex?: Nah.
(94) Been betrayed?: Yeah.
(95) Had a dream that came true?: Yep. Couple times.
(96) Broken the law?: Yeah.
(97) Met a famous person?: Yeah.
(98) Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: Hm, if you count cutting up a lizard with a lawn mower. I felt horrible ><. I also set a cats tail on fire once. I hit a cat too..with a car. That sucked.
(99) Stolen anything?: Yep.
(100) Been in a mosh-pit?: Yep.
(101) Had a nervous breakdown?: Yep.
(102) Been criticized about your sexual performance?: Not really critized, but I've heard "I've had better oral"
(103) Bungee jumped?: Nah.
(104) Had a dream that kept coming back?: That's called reoccuring dreams, and yes, I'm sure I have.
BELIEFS
(105) Believe in life on other planets?: Yeah.
(106) Miracles?: Yes.
(107) Astrology?: No. But it is fun.
(108) Magic?: In a young girls heart?
(109) God?: I believe in a higher power...I think.
(110) Satan?: Not sure. I believe in a great evil.
(111) Santa?: What am I, Eight?
(112) Ghosts?: Yes.
(113) Luck?: Yes.
(114) Love at first sight?: Sort-of.
(115) Ying and Yang?: Doesn't that mean something like Good and Evil are evenly matched?
(116) Witches?: Wiccans believe they are witches.
(117) Easter bunny?: What am I, Eight?
(118) Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: Yes, but it may be tough.
(119) Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: What am I, Eight?
(120) Do you wish on stars?: Sometimes.
LOVE, and all that
(121) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title?: No, kindof excited.
(122) Do you remember your first love?: Yep.
(123) Still love him/her?: Yep.
(124) Do you consider love a mistake?: I regret it.
(125) What do you find romantic?: Rose petals, satin sheets, the color Crimson, slow music, rain, falling asleep in eachothers arms, 'Romantic' movies.
(126) Turn-on?: Having my head scratched, massages, tan complexion, dark hair, green eyes, ect.
(127) Turn-off?: Un-intelligent, illiterate, insecure, argumentative, immature and naive girls.
(128) Do you base your judgment on looks alone: At first.
(129) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?: Bad.
(130) Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going "blind"?: Knowing, but not best friends.
(131) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?: It isn't?
(133) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: Like I said, I'm 'cute'.
(134) What is best about the opposite sex?: Everything.
(135) What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: They can be devious.
(136) Do you consider your significant other hot?: None.
(137) What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy/girl standing on the sidewalk?: Maybe go talk to them, if they looked my type.
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
(138) That haunted you?: I have no ghosty friends.
(139) You wanted to kill?: Sam.
(140) That you laughed at?: Billy.
(141) That laughed at you?: Rachael.
(142) You went shopping with?: Wadsworth to the movies?
(143) That broke your heart?: Sam.
(144) To disappoint you?: Sam.
(145) To ask you out?: I can't remember, but I think a girl has asked me out before.
(146) To make you cry?: Sam.
(147) To brighten up your day?: Bill, Ryan, Dave, Wads, Aria, Rachael.
(148) That you thought about?: Uhm, Rachael I guess, since I'm talking to her on aim.
(149) You saw a movie with?: Wads
(150) You talked to on the phone?: Uh..probably Bill or Sam.
(151) You talked to through IM?: Rachael.
(152) You saw?: My mom.
(153) You lost?: If you mean dead, then my Father, my friends Fathers.
(154) You thought was completely insane?: Sam.
(155) You wanted to be?: I'm contempt with myself.
(156) You told off?: Sam.
(157) You trusted?: My close friends.
(158) You turned down?: Can't remember.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU
(159) Smiled?: Today.
(160) Laughed?: Today.
(161) Cried?: It's been a while.
(162) Bought something?: Movie ticket for Borat, Monday night.
(163) Danced?: I skanked about an hour ago.
(164) Were sarcastic?: Today.
(165) hugged someone?: A while ago.
(166) Talked to an ex?: Yesterday.
(167) Watched your fave movie?: Hm, what is my favorite movie, anyway?
(168) Had a nightmare?: Few days ago.
(169) Talked on the phone?: Few days ago.
(170) Listened to the radio?: Not sure..
(171) Watched TV?: Now.
(172) Went out?: Outside? At 12 today.
(173) Helped someone?: Today.
(174) Were mean?: Today.
(175) Sang?: Today.
(176) Saw a movie in a theater?: Borat monday.
(177) Said "I love you"?: Week ago.
(178) Missed someone?: Yes.
(179) Fought with a family member?: I "debated" with my mom today.
(180) Fought with a friend?: Hmm..dunno.
(181) Had a serious conversation?: Today.
(182) Got drunk?: Couple months.
(183) Had sex?: I've never gone all the way..but a few months ago.
MORE ABOUT YOU
(184) What size shoe do you wear? 11 1/2
(185) What jewelry are you wearing now? None.
(186) What is your screen name on AIM? xixgunslingerxix.
(187) For two million dollars, would you pose for Playboy? Guys are in Playboy?
(188) How do you vent your anger? I've already answered this.
(189) Are you shy or outgoing? Depends.
(190) Do you shower? Uhm..yeah..
(191) How easily do you trust people? Depends on my mood.
ILY thx for reading. o_O |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 12th, 2006|08:08 pm] |
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My mom went to the doctor and it turns out she had a minor heart attack. Her heart is skipping beats and stuff, its scary. I'm afraid shes not going to be here much longer and that makes me afraid..she home with a heart monitor hooked up and whatnot..its scary.. |
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[Apr. 12th, 2006|03:32 pm] |
The Heartbreak.
So today I've learned that Samantha Renee Andrews is nothing more than a cold hearted bitch that uses people. Yes, that does mean we broke up. Why? I listened to her "convince herself" that I wasn't the best fish in the sea. In reality, she used me. God, did she ever use me. It all started when she got back with me. That's when she started using me. She got back together with me because she didn't want to be alone. I filled that lonely gap in her heart. She just had to "Make do with what she had" (Yes, she told me those words). She stayed with me, using me for affection, her sexual needs, giving her rides and buying her everything..from food, clothing, even entertainment (IE Movies, games, ect.). My car broke down about a week and a half ago, so she had no more use for me. She got rid of me.
Now that I see this, I'm glad. I love her, but I hate what she has done to me. I treated her like a godess..always loving, always trying to cheer her up, trying to keep her happy. Comforting her everytime her family had problems. I was there for her. I never objected to her going anywhere with her friends, I never "held her down". I bought her everything. I kept her fed. If she asked me for a dollar for candy, Id give it to her. If she wanted to rent a game, I'd rent it for her (which by the way, she didn't even have the courtesy to have it returned on time as I told her she would have to do if I rented it for her. It's been out like three weeks.) Hell, I walked to her house just to see her! That's about a 2 hour walk, from the beggining of Satsuma to mid-Saraland. Did she care? No. Did she appreciate it? No. Does she appreciate ANYTHING I do for her? No. She just kept me around to fufill her needs. I changed for her. I stopped cursing like I did (as in saying the F- word in every sentence to saying damn and shit like once a day) for her. Did she care? No. I didn't smoke for her, or smoke pot even though I had the chances. I did it for her.
She treated me like shit. Always ditching me, putting me down for her own amusement, making sarcastic comments, laughing at anything romantic I tried to do for her. Hurting me. Telling me shit I didn't want to hear. Talking about Andrew..and how great he was. I asked her, "If someone like Andrew came up to you today and asked you to ditch me to be with him, what would you do?
A. Say no because you're incredibly happy with who you are with now, and have no interest in dating the new guy.
B. Say no even though you don't like the guy you're with now, and want to be with the new guy just because it's wrong.
C. Ditch me for him.
She said B. That hurt. A lot. This wasn't even in the breakup phase, this was just talking. God, I can't believe how she treated me. She would never show affection for me in public. She'd distance herself from me. She would never let me hold her hand, barely let me hug her, even though she hugs everyone else for hours (including a lesbian who'se had a thing for her in the past). She kept telling me that I wasn't so great, kept saying something better was waiting. I hope one day when she ends up with a truly horrible boyfriend, she'll appreciate what I've done for her. And maybe I will end up with someone who appreciates me.
Whew, thank god for livejournal saving programs. My computer just crashed and I thought I was going to have to rewrite all of this.
Why am I in love with the one person who has intentionally hurt me more than anyone else? In my eyes she is perfect..but she's not. She's flawed. She's not so attractive, she's not so smart, she's definatly not so funny, and she's just been a complete bitch to me. I gave her all of her shit back today. Everything she's ever given me ( not that it's much). I told her I wanted everything I gave her back, and called her an unappreciative gold-digger.
Why do I torture myself? Yes, I wanted to die. Yes, I cut myself (before- not this time). Yes, I've beaten myself down, told myself it was my fault, that I'm a horrible excuse for a human, that I'm not good for the world, that if I killed myself I'd be doing the world a favor. Call me emo, I call me crazy. Yes, I am crazy for all you assholes who don't already know it. I have to take meds and go to doctors. I'll probably have to go to a shrink soon enough.
She has been saying that we've been doing bad for a long time...yet two weekends ago she stayed at my house that friday. You can guess where that led. Let's just say it's a matter of opinion if we're still virgins or not. The rest of that weekend we spent ever day together, and every night on the phone. Cuddling, kissing, and other things. Haley suggested that it might be the whole near-sex thing ruined it for us, but I don't think so, because she spent every second with me until my car broke down. So then we determined she was using me. I honestly do feel sortof free now. I'm not being used anymore.
The Journey.
I had to walk home today. It was fine, I felt like it. Almost like torturing myself for whats happened. Carrying a 25 pound backpack and walking miles upon miles. I had time to think. I found a bunch of neat stuff on the dirt road. I found some berries that I ate and they tasted really good and sweet, but they were sorta hairy and made my stomach hurt. I found 3 big cuts of meat, about two feet long, one foot wide and one foot thick. Dog meat? Human meat? Probably deer meat someone threw out. Pretty gross though. Didn't really smell, but they were covered in flies. About half a mile from that I found a garbage bag wrapped in a giant clear plastic bag that someone through out. It smelled wretched. Probably going to inform the police just in case its like a baby or something. I went to open it up but it was just too gross. The smell was just horrible. About a mile from that I found a dirt bike/moped/scooter type deal. I thought about taking it to ride home, but it was wrapped in vines and whatnot. It only had about fifteen miles on it, but it required a key and it had been broken into. My guess was someone stole it, tried to hotwire it, then ditched it in some brush. It looked new. Ohwell. The rest of my journey was alright. My legs are itching from bug bites, but whatever.
The End.
Well, I'm depressed again. I just want to die. Rwar. One day I'll find someone who appreciates and cares for me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 9th, 2006|08:24 pm] |
Jeeeeeeeeeeeenniiiiffeeeeeerrr...............let's hang out this weekend.
Marleeey Emiiily and Looloo...let's hang out this weekend all of us! |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 5th, 2006|07:07 pm] |
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I need more people/a new group to hang out with. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 24th, 2006|02:29 pm] |
This weekend has sucked. I did something to Sam that I will never tell anyone else, because I'm so ashamed. I've ruined everything between us, and it is a shitty feeling. Being so close to having her back, then not thinking and making the wrong decision. I really want to die right now.
So many things are bad for me. I feel that I only have two people that I can honestly trust: Jake and Lauren. I also feel that Jake uses me a lot (for rides and stuff) but doesn't really realize he's doing it.
Fuck, I hate posting on livejournal.
Christ I miss her so much. Why must love hurt so much? All I can imagine is her and Andrew..doing stuff..I really don't want her to date him..he's an okay guy I guess, but he's just one of those typical soccer players who date a million people, have sex with a million people, and hurt a million people. In a way I want to let her go and let her learn the lesson, but I don't want him to take something away from her, something she holds dearly. I don't want her to be hurt. I've already told her that I would prevent that, even if it meant going to her mom and telling her everything Sam and I did. I love her so much, and I will do anything to prevent her from getting hurt.
So I was reading GreatestJournal where Otis was posting something, and he said something about me being a horrible boyfriend.
", personally, wouldnt want to be with him ever again, he treats her like shit. Of all the guys that arent even her boyfriends whom treat her like royalty she chooses stephen. Its confusing."
What exactly did I do? I know I was overly jealous, anti-social, and wanted a serious relationship whereas she wanted to have fun, but what else did I do? I was always there for her, and always will be. I always tried to make her happy, I bought her the world. I made her feel like the most special girl in the world- but then again, I made her feel like crap a lot too.
Wow, I guess I was a shitty boyfriend. Otis was too though. So are a lot of guys. What specifically did I do wrong? That's one thing I want to know. The only things I can really name is :1) Getting jealous of Dave, 2) Wanting to be with her every second of the day, 3) Being too serious. But, one thing I can say, is I must've been a lot better than Otis, since she left him for me and we lasted twice as long. Okay, enough being mean.
I'm so ready for this hardship to be over. Right now I feel that I'll never amount to anything, and that I will never find someone as perfect as her. Someone who is the right combination of: Gorgeous, smart, funny, attractive, nerdy, cool and trendy. It's like we chemically matched up like crazy.
I'm sick of people thinking Sam is so perfect. That she does EVERYTHING right. She doesn't, and that's the problem she's having now. She's been lying about things like how she pushes me off when she does the opposite. She uses me too..I'm like a ribbon tied around her finger, always there for her every need and desire. She needs a ride to school? I'm there. Needs a ride home? I'm there. Needs money for a $5 meal? I'm there. Yet when I want something, a date, hanging out, going somewhere- I'm tossed to the wind.
She just wants to be left alone- by everyone. She wants time to stop worrying about other people, she needs time to herself. Everyone (including me) needs to back off and let her breathe.
I feel, and so does she, that I'm the one person that cares most for her (outside of family, of course). The one person who would do absolutely ANYTHING for her, the one person who knows her the most. The one person who cares about her and worries about her the most. She haunts my mind every second of the day, and she is the one person I always dream about. (For instance I had a dream last night about going to the Winter Dance thing with her). That's why I'm always there for her, always wanting to talk to her.
Ugh, I need a life. Really. All I do is think of her, and play WoW. I've got two projects due last friday (i was out of school) and haven't done them.
I love Lana. I honestly never thought I'd say that to her or about her, but she is the one person right now that I can confide in. The one person who knows exactly what I'm going through, the one person who can relate to me. We can talk about our love lifes and know exactly what we are talking about. And it helps that we are each dating eachothers best friend..er wait..I'm not dating Sam. But still. I think I'm going to start hanging out with her and Co-Cle more. They are cool.
God I'm so tired. I cried a lot tonight. Call me emo if you want, I call it healthy. long update. Pointless really. I just want to know what all of you think I did wrong to Sam. How I treated her like shit. Ect.
Bye. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 17th, 2006|04:11 pm] |
Dammit...I really wish I wasn't such a fuck up. I wish I wasn't so jealous, so flawed. I wish I could make someone love me as much as I love them. I wish I could prove to them that I've learned a lesson, that I have changed, that I can be a good guy. I wish I could go back in time and fix things.
I've never known pain like this..it's so horrible. Every time I see her, hear her..I feel horrible. I hate the fact she's so fickle, and I hate the fact she's interested in other people than me.
I hate the fact I got involved with someone so young.
Sometimes I have great days, and this has not been one of them.
Why does love hurt so bad?
First love..first a lot of things. She still has feelings, I just need to prove to her that I AM what she wants...I know somehow I can..and will.
God, I love her so much. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 9th, 2006|04:18 pm] |
Wow, things still suck. Me and Sam are done for good. Well maybe not for good, but for a while, possibly for good. Saddens me.
Buut..I got two phone numbers today, and I'm set up to go on dates with 4 different girls. So that's cool. Boy I am tired. I have no life, all I did was play WoW all night because I have no girlfriend and my best friend was off with his girlfriend and Dave and co. was probably hanging out with Sam and she doesn't want to be around me for a while. I'm too clingy and obsessive, but I cannot help it..
Argh..I can't wait until all of this blows over.. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 6th, 2006|05:19 am] |
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Well, I didn't get an apology. Guess it shows how mature some people really are. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 5th, 2006|03:15 pm] |
Well, I guess I am back to livejournal. I can't sleep. Today has been shitty. I found out I have to go to the orthodontist and I haven't been wearing my retainer. The bottom one won't even fit. Doh.
Then that whole ordeal with dumb Lana and Sam. That steamed me up, hurt me, depressed me.
Then of course, all I dream about is her. This is fucking lame.
Idunno, I need to sleep, but I can't. Sucks. Maybe I won't fall asleep the first day of school...maybe. |
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| Rising Above. |
[Jan. 5th, 2006|06:56 am] |
So I came here to slander Samantha's name in some sort of eye-for-eye tooth-for-tooth fashion. It started out with me talking to Lana, Lana yelling at me about how Sam should hate me for spreading rumors about her and ruining her life and all that bullshit. Then she signs off. So I call, about 12 times, to Sams cell phone. Each time, her and Lana pick up, doing some immature thing like yelling into the phone then hanging up, or putting it up to the TV. I called because I wanted to find out what the hell I did to ruin Sams life, and what rumors I've spread. Eventually they finally answer, and won't give me an answer to the question about what did I do. Still they're be immature about it.
So finally, after throwing some horrible words around, Sam picks up the phone, and proceeds to tell me what I did. 'She dislikes me because I make her sad all the time, and she doesn't want to be around me' I make her sad? No, I make her guilty. She makes herself sad. She does shit to me all the time, and then I get sad. For instance- ignoring me, avoiding me, telling me she will do something with me and doesn't, breaking our 'friendship' dates, ect. I tell her how sad it makes me that she does that. She feels guilty. The guilt makes her sad.
So more nasty words were exchanged (mainly from her), and she's like 'I don't know why I'm even talking to you, I said I wasn't' and she hung up on me. So I texted that if I didn't get an apology, then I would come to LJ and do to her what I did to Lana. That I'd do exactly what they were accusing me of. Of course, I didn't get an apology.
The fact is I love her. Even though she treats me like complete shit, and is a total bitch to me. Well, she was a bitch today..never before. So I was going to come and do that to her..sink to her level. But I am better than that. I'm rising above her. I don't give a damn that she is getting people to dislike me (IE Lana), I have REAL friends that actually care about me, like Jake, Kevin, Lolo, and a couple others. I may not have many at all, but I have ones that care. And I AM better than this. I AM more mature than them.
I love her, and every time I see her I get sad..hurt..that feeling like your heart sinks into your chest. Everytime I see her online..see her phone number..see her picture. And when she told me she didn't like me, that she didn't want to be around me, tears ran down my face.
Everytime I talk to her or one of her friends, they ask me 'why do you want to know?' and shit like that. Like they suspect me of something. What the hell? Well, she can turn as many people as she wants to against me, and get them to threaten me all she pleases. She can tell them that I do this and do that when in reality I don't all she wants. I know different, and anyone who knows me also knows different. Ex-girlfriends are notorious for this shit, anyway.
I hope she reads this and feels horrible. I hope the guilt makes her sick on her stomach, and I hope she sees everything clear now. I hope she feels stupid for being so immature. But she is a mere child, so naive, so stupid, she probably won't. I hope this fuels an apology, but I guess we will just see how mature she really is.
And thank you Lana for proving my point that you were NEVER my friend. You were a poser, just to make Sam happy. You're a good friend to her, but you are also a lyer and a poser. And Jake has assured me that there will be no 'Girlfriend hating best friend' problem.
Well, I'm proud of myself. I've risen above them. I've won the battle. I think I'll go have a victory snack.
On a side note: It looks like her and I will not be getting together again, so I'm available and willing to do ANYTHING with almost anyone. -wink wink- Time to party. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 4th, 2006|02:14 pm] |
Today was better. Woke up, screwed up my computer, went to Jakes. We planned to go to Sams later that night to play Trivia Pursuit and watch Star Wars Episode IV DVD. Well, Jake was trying to get his wireless cable modem set up, and I decided I wanted a new graphics card. I basically hung around Jakes all day, not really doing much of nothing.
Corey Cleveland came by later around 6ish. I gotta say, Co-Cle is a rad guy. He got Jakes wireless set up, and we figured Jakes mom would let him leave since he got it working. Nope, she's still pissed. Okay, I go call Samantha and tell her Jake can't come. Apparently if Jake can't come, I can't either. Hm, some friend. Well, she is a good friend to Lana atleast. She'd sacrifice herself to have to spend time with me so Lana could see Jake. Sam just hates me for some reason, but whatever. She said she'd probably end back up with me anyway, and it's not like I'm going anywhere. But for now, I've given up on her. She's just an ass to me. Maybe she doesn't mean to be but it sure as hell looks like it. Whatever, I don't need her. But one thing is for damn sure, i'm not going through that again. I'm going to go into a more physical/less emotional relationship. Not even a single relationship, just slutting around with people. Hey, if I'm gonna wait, I might as well have fun, eh?
Anyways, back to the store. Jake couldn't come, so me and Co-Cle decide to go get my graphics card at Best Buy. We talk to some guy for a while, then leave, and install it. It's beautiful. Cost me $120 big ones, too. I'm broke now. :-P But it was worth it, upgraded to a 6600 from a integrated one. Me and Co-Cle talked a lot on the way up there and back- about relationships, styles, college, everything. He pointed out something that made a whole lot of sense to me. Why should you even go through the hassle of a relationship when in just a few months everythings going to change for us? College, different level of maturaty and everything. Just pointless. But falling in love for the first time was great, and I'll never forget her..if we don't end up together, which I expect to happen.
Co-Cle goes home, I go home, boot up WoW. Everyone who still plays, go to Bonecrusher PvP server, Alliance. We're getting everyone local to play there.
Anyways, I'm out. Later. |
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